Home, February 25, 2008

We have made it home! It is now Monday morning after arriving home in Dallas around 11:00 p.m. Saturday night after a 30 hour journey home. We are all still exhausted and sleep deprived as we all attempt to adjust our internal clocks but it seems at varying speeds.

The journey home did not begin ideally. Ann woke up a few hours ahead of our target hour to get up and going in order to be downstairs by 7:00 a.m., and ready to head to the airport. She was sick to her stomach and not feeling well at all. When it came time to get Bei Bei up and ready to go, Bei Bei was understandably not sympathetic of Ann’s difficulty in being the Ma Ma she was used to. Having to leave much of the morning ritual and cajoling to Ba Ba did not sit at all well with our darling daughter who is not a morning person to begin with. Bei Bei did not stop crying, or at least whimpering, the whole time from getting up, through breakfast, and to pick up time by Sampson to head to the airport.

Not sure how to thank Sampson for his incredible empathy for our daughter. In what was to be a rushed and hectic morning to get to the airport on time, Sampson assessed the situation with us and our disgruntled daughter, and called for a break in the proceedings. He leaned down to speak to our daughter, took her gently by the hand and just headed towards the breakfast area of the hotel leaning down to her level of eye contact the whole way. He spent about ten minutes talking with her over some orange juice until she had time to comprehend all the information that was being given to her about Ma Ma not really being herself today and the long trip that lay ahead. During this trip home she was the best, mostly cooperative 5-1/2 year old you could ever want to travel with. Our daughter is an angel.

Poor Ann got sick again in the van on the way to the airport. Fortunately we were in a minibus and not a van so there was room to maneuver swiftly to get Ann a plastic grocery bag. So there we were, cruising down the toll way to the airport, David standing in front of Ann holding the plastic grocery bag, Steve passing Ann a bottle of water, Sampson strategizing with the driver. Our new Ma Ma was clearly suffering but keeping a brave face on the whole way.

We got to the Airport with plenty of time to spare and caught our plane to Shanghai. Once in Shanghai for the six hour layover, and 3 hour wait before we could check our bags through, Ann stretched out over several seats to lay down. Bei Bei was again a great trooper and let her Ba Ba and Loo Ye entertain her while Ann rested as best she could. Once we checked our bags and headed to the gate, Bei Bei started to run a little wild. Nothing like a Caucasian male carrying off a little Chinese girl in a Shanghai airport while the little girl shouts Ma Ma! Ma Ma! Once Ann caught up and we were able to remind her to stay close in one of the few Mandarin phrases we were beginning to master, all was well.
Bei Bei was remarkable on the plane trip to Chicago, which fortunately coincided with night time China time. So she slept for approximately 9 hours of the 13 hour plane ride and was an angel the rest of the time keeping occupied with the cartoon channel and headset on the airplane. Ah, the wonders of the modern jet age. Ann got sick again early in the plane ride to Chicago which strategically encouraged the one other person on her 5 seat center row to find some where else to sit so Ann got to stetch out the rest of the way to Chicago. The ticket agent had been able to give us two seats each on two adjacent rows and blocked two more on each row, leaving only an aisle seat open for someone else, and four seats for us. Steve and Ann sat in one row, well actually Steve sat in one seat and Ann occupied the other 4. David and Bei Bei sat in the row in front so Bei Bei could stretch out across 2 seats while David sat on the aisle. Bei Bei was so well behaved that their row mate was not disturbed in the least.

The rest of the flight to Chicago was uneventful except Steve also got sick about three hours out from Chicago which made David get a little nervous about what might be coming next. We are not sure whether it was our “safe” buffet the night before at the hotel, one of the more adventurous meals, or something else. Ann had a salad with fresh greens at the buffet (eating raw veggies that do not need to be peeled is a no-no), and Steve had decided to try some raw oysters. David avoided both these…..

We cleared customs without incident and our wonderful daughter became a U.S. citizen without even noticing. The kindly folks at American Airlines were good enough to move us up a flight as we rechecked our bags after customs which meant we would get back to Dallas an hour earlier. The only incident we had in Chicago was clearing security as we could not convince the kindly TSA folks to wand our daughter as opposed to taking off her coat and shoes. As we mentioned earlier the only time she takes off her shoes is when she is taking a bath. There are times you miss having your guide with you and this was surely one of them. We can convey the part about taking her shoes and coat off but not the all important why. Even the TSA folks seemed surprised by the ordeal we put our dear daughter through trying to get her coat and shoes off. They looked a little dumbfounded. They decided it best to let Ann carry her through the metal detector. Bei Bei recovered in her usual quick fashion and the trip back to Dallas was as smooth as the trip to Chicago…and nobody got sick on the plane!

Ann’s mom and a friend of the family picked us up at the airport and we were home by 11:00 p.m. Bei Bei was wide awake and ready to explore as this was 1:00 p.m. for her. She had a blast going through her dresser and holding up clothes in front of her full length mirror. She took a nap around 1:30 a.m. and was up again at 2:30 a.m. and made sure we were up with her….

Last full day in China, Day 19, February 22, 2008

Well here we are nearing the end of our journey. Hard to believe we have been in China almost three weeks. So many wonderful adventures brought to us by our daughter. We know having her be a part of our family will continue to reward us in ways we have yet to imagine. We also know it will be accompanied by many test of wills and trials and tribulations, since we have experienced a small sampling of those as well. But what an incredible joy it is to have her as our daughter.

We begin today with a trip to the Temple of the 6 Banyan Trees here in Guangzhou. We hope to receive a blessing from the Buddhist monks there. While we toured several cultural sites and Buddhists temples prior to receiving Bei Bei, all of our adventures with her have been more on the amusement side with the exception of our visit to St. Sophia’s church in Harbin, which had been stripped of most its cultural and religious symbols.
The temple is the oldest temple in Guangzhou and dates back to the sixth century. There are three copper Buddha statues in the main hall. They are among the largest and most ancient Buddhist statues in Guangdong Province. The middle one is Shakyamuni, to the left is the Amitabha and to the right is the Apothecary Buddha. They represent past, present and future. This seems some how appropriate and probably why this is a stop for many families who find themselves in Guangzhou taking the final step in their adoption process. We purchase some Bodhi seed beads requested by David’s mom to mark the occasion. It was under a Bodhi tree that the Buddha Shakyamuni sat before his enlightenment. We arrive at the main hall and there is a group of Chinese receiving a blessing. We are next. We approach the area in front of the three statues of Buddha and kneel. I think all of us recognize and feel this place to be a holy place and offer our prayers up to whoever may be listening to us, whether it be God or Buddha. There is chanting and gentle rhythmic beating on a small, handheld, wooden drum by one of the monks. We each receive a blessing, and a sprinkling of water. After the blessing ends it is time to bow three times, and make an offering. We burn some sticks of incense and leave those too as an offering. While we know nothing of our child’s birth family or their belief system, we do feel a depth of gratitude to this country and culture and this is one of the few ways we have found to express it. As we leave the temple, this feels like a good stop to have made. In typical western fashion, we quickly shift gears and it is time for last minute shopping. We found several things that captured our interest. Ann became particularly enraptured with a pearl market that was actually pearls on the first floor of a mall structure with three other floors of gems or fashion jewelry. It was a gem show on steroids. Ann was in heaven. By now though it was getting to be lunch time so we headed back to the hotel, stopping on the way for more fried stuff on a stick for Bei Bei.

Once back in the hotel Ann began plotting a way to get back to the pearl market and shopping street. Unsure if Bei Bei would be interested and not wanting to leave Bei Bei wondering where her new ma ma disappeared to we attempted to let Bei Bei know that mom would return in a little while. Apparently we successfully got the message across because it was not at all well received and Bei Bei let it be known in no uncertain terms that ma ma leaving without her was not an option. So we hit the streets again as a family and finished up our shopping.

Sampson spent the afternoon and evening helping resolve some last minute paperwork issues with one of the families so we were left on our own for dinner and just ventured down to the hotel dinner buffet. Sounded like a safe idea prior to a day of travel.

U.S. Consulate Appointment, Day 18, February 21, 2008

David headed to the US consulate first thing in the morning with Sampson to get our vaccination affidavit notarized. This did not take too long and David took a cab back to the hotel while Sampson continued to work the paperwork. The good news was that our swearing in ceremony was moved up to this afternoon so we would receive our daughter’s visa today as well. This would leave our last day in China stress free as we would have all our paperwork in hand to bring our daughter home.

We went out for a little walk in the morning where our daughter got us to experiment with some meals on a stick. Not sure what we had but it was pretty tasty. We then met up with the other two Gladney families to head to the consulate at 2:45. The consulate does not allow any cameras or virtually any other electronic devices into the consulate so we will have no photos of this ceremony.

After we finished at the consulate and had all our prized documents in hand we ventured out to dinner once again with Sampson. Another small family restaurant. This restaurant was obviously known for its fresh fish selections. You knew this as one wall of the restaurant was occupied with aquariums with the future meals swimming around inside. We witnessed a few netted out of their temporary cramped quarters only to be, ahhh, eventually dispatched to a table next to ours. I must confess we did not have a fish dish, other than some fish rolled into balls that were part of one of our dishes. Another good meal at a small authentic Chinese restaurant near our hotel. We are thinking this beats the heck out of the hotel diner buffet and a whole lot less expensive. Just have to have someone with you who knows how to order.

From Harbin to Guangzhou, Day 17, February 20, 2008

We got up bright and early this morning to leave for the airport. We were down in the lobby at 6:45 to check out and Lynn was there to pick us up by 7:00 a.m. Thankfully she did have Bei Bei’s passport with her which we were expecting to be delivered to us yesterday. No worries with Lynn though.

We got to the airport in plenty of time and Lynn waived to us down the security area. Unfortunately in those chaotic moments when you are entering a new adventure, really a new chapter in our lives, you forget to take a breath to stop for moment to thank the person that helped get you there. But we were juggling luggage and a 51/2 year old and headed to security. I am not sure if we hugged Aunt Lynn goodbye or not. Ann says Lynn did give our daughter a hug and a kiss at that chaotic moment. We did have a chance to give her a gift and tell her how much we appreciated all she did for us in the van on the way to the airport. Hopefully we at least conveyed some of the gratitude we feel for her.

We tried to cover as much as possible through Lynn to Bei Bei about what to expect on her first airplane trip. We discovered the thing we forgot to talk about was being restrained by a seat belt. Not something she took to easily. Thank goodness the first two legs back to the states we will have Mandarin speaking flight attendants. Maybe by the final leg from Chicago to Dallas we will have it down. The flight from Harbin to Guangzhou was direct but had one stop. That got one more take off and landing under our belt. Fortunately we did have one very sweet flight attendant on the trip who would stop and talk to Bei Bei and reassure her. When restrained by the seatbelt Bei Bei would roll her head almost violently back and forth. No doubt a coping mechanism to soothe/distract her she picked up somewhere. Hospital stays? Who knows. The only times we have seen her do this is on the plane with the seat belt fastened or on one or two occasions after being put to bed and trying to fall asleep, or perhaps trying to stay awake. It is very hard to watch her go through this. She does not cry doing this, perhaps little whimpers. But there is no soothing her either. One of those heartbreaking moments for new parents I suppose. Not knowing how to comfort her. Once again she recovered quickly though.

Once in Guangzhou we were met by our guide Sampson and were promptly whisked off to get her photograph taken for her U.S. visa and then a quick medical examination also required for the adoption visa before being dropped off at our hotel. There was a quick moment of panic/confusion for our dear daughter when she saw the first person in a white medical jacket since leaving the orphanage approach her (most of the caregivers wore such attire). Sampson is also wonderful about talking with our sweet daughter though and calmed her quickly.

David later met with Sampson and one of the other Gladney moms to go over the visa paperwork. So far we felt pretty good about having our act together on the required paperwork. But alas, David forgot to get one document notarized stateside which basically attested to the fact that we would make sure to comply with all vaccinations requirements of the U.S. A simple document, but one you had to have to complete the visa process. Sampson said no worries though and we would take care of in the morning with a trip to the consulate to get the document certified/notarized there. Another document we seemed to lack was a home study update. Fortunately David had a copy of the original Home Study that already allowed for the adoption of a “special needs” child and that, hopefully, will suffice.

Once we finished with the paperwork we joined Sampson for dinner at a local Cantonese restaurant. A small family place but very good. Apparently renowned for their steamed chicken. We were also introduced to goose kidney which we must say we find superior to goose liver. Who knew? Certainly nothing goes to waste in a good Chinese restaurant. Coming home we walked past a place selling snake wine. Apparently good for vascular circulation. Once again, who knew?

Last Full Day In Harbin, Day 16, February 19, 2008

Today is our last full day in Harbin. No events are planned and we will be on our own most of the day as another family from Texas arrived last night and Lynn will be taking them to meet their son today. He is from a different orphanage in Heilongjiang Province though, several hours away.

We went out for a walk down the pedestrian street this morning and Bei Bei was pretty good again about staying close to us, though a bit more adventurous this time. While it is a pedestrian street, there are still several cross streets. For any of you that have been in China you are familiar with the rules at intersections, even signalized intersections. There are none. Thus the extra importance of keeping Bei Bei close. We are learning children like to hear explanations, though they may not always appreciate them. Our issuance of single word commands in Mandarin, perhaps unintelligible to begin with, do not seem to influence her much. Lynn’s assistance is always invaluable in explaining our attempts. When we are on our own it is always interesting. Always a bit awkward to have a Chinese daughter in China having a pout in the middle of a street amongst thousands of her fellow countrymen with Caucasian parents talking to her in English. All in all a good outing though. She is so much fun to watch. Not sure she ever “walks.” Always a skip or a prance. Our daughter is a very good natured girl (most of the time….).

Later this afternoon Susan Meng, the director of the provincial adoption authority who we met during our two visits to that office, came by with Lynn to the hotel to drop off a lovely photo album of pictures taken during our adoption process there. We gave her the clothes we had purchased for the orphanage. She was very appreciative. We were hoping Lynn could stay with us and perhaps we would go up to the river front but they are a very busy group right now so she was unable to. Lynn is so sweet and says she loves her work which is also very obvious. She says her father is also very proud of her which we can easily understand. That on at least one occasion he trailed her to watch her in action with a couple of families that had traveled together. Another proud Ba Ba.

The other family that had come in from Texas opted to move to our hotel for the convenience of having adjoining rooms. They have 4 children, actually as of this evening five. They traveled with their oldest and their youngest, who is also adopted from China. Their other two children stayed in Texas with their grandparents. We met them for dinner in our hotel and we all had pizza together. They are a wonderful family and their new son is adorable, as are there other children. They were still exhausted from their travel as they had just arrived the night before from the U.S. When we went back up to our room, David and Steve broke out a small bottle of Russian vodka that had been previously purchased. There is an Ice Bar on the pedestrian street which is completely constructed of ice (maybe not the roof…). It had ice walls, and ice bar, ice benches, ice tables, ice counters and ice shot glasses, two of which we just so happened to have. So we conclude our evening toasting our time in Harbin the Harbin way, with Russian vodka in ice shot glasses. I am sure there are those amongst you who will say we received what we deserved if we come down with a stomach bug by drinking from the ice. Hopefully the Vodka killed what ever little bugs we have been avoiding by drinking bottled water. So we practice our Russian. Za druzhbu myezhdu narodami! (zah droozh-boo myezh-doo nuh-roh-duh-mee; To friendship between nations!)

Visit to Zhi Bei’s Orphanage, Day 15, February 18th

Today David and Ann’s dad Steve went to orphanage while Ann stayed with Zhi Bei back in the hotel. The orphanage director and all involved felt like it would be easier on Zhi Bei to not go through another separation from her care givers there. We cannot express our gratitude enough to her care givers at the orphanage. It is obvious she received a great deal of love and care from the staff there. While it made for difficult separation moments, in the long run it will hopefully make Zhi Bei’s attachment to us easier. We had a chance to meet one of her primary care givers that spent some time with Zhi Bei during her hospital stay in Beijing in the summer of 2006 for her cleft repair. Apparently the orphanage director herself brought her to Beijing for the procedure and then asked her caregiver to travel to Beijing on the weekends to be with her.

The orphanage itself was very clean but also very clearly an institutional setting. As we knew going in, we were not allowed to take any photographs inside and only spent about 10 minutes outside of the reception area. We did get to see where Zhi Bei slept with 8 other girls her age, meet her best friend Chang Chang, and see her group at play in a playroom which resembled a dance studio with a mirror and rail on one wall. There were lots of windows and light in the sleeping area and play area. David had brought his laptop to share some of the digital photos of our time with Bei Bei with the orphanage director. This seemed to be appreciated greatly and David copied several of the photos to a jump drive that one of the staff members at the orphanage had. The orphanage director presented us with a beautiful glass block with an image of the orphanage building etched into it as a keepsake. She encouraged us to bring Zhi Bei back to visit sometime in the future and it was once again very clear the immense affection these care givers had for Bei Bei.

Once we left the orphanage we returned to the hotel to pick up Ann and Bei Bei to go get lunch. We then visited St Sophia’s Cathedral, an old Russian Orthodox Church that was now a museum on Harbin. Once we departed there we returned to Walmart to buy some clothes for the orphanage, Bei Bei’s best friend at the orphanage Chang Chang and of course for Bei Bei herself.

Later in the evening David walked down to the river front and took a few pictures of the frozen river and the pedestrian street. He also went back past Bei Bei's finding place, the Friendship Palace Hotel. Ultimately there was nothing new to be gleaned from or about her finding place. David was struck by the thousands of apartments in the area and the knowledge that he could be walking among Bei Bei's birth parents, or even her sibling(s).

Front Door of the Friendship Palace Hotel

A Day on Our Own, Day 13, February 17, 2008

After leaving Andrea Zhi Bei’s finding place yesterday we made a quick trip to Walmart for some milk and a few more Chinese CD’s and DVD’s for children. Not sure I could tell you what the difference was in a Chinese Walmart from one in the US accept for the squid, jelly fish and seaweed in the fresh food section, the shopping carts are about the quarter of the size of a US shopping cart, and it is three stories. It was a good day for Zhi Bei all and all. We did try to put her down for a nap which was entirely unsuccessful and resulted in a 30 minute tearful pout until we finally gave in.

Today is our first day on our own. I am sure Lynn is ready for a day off. We went for a walk down a pedestrian street lined with small shops and bigger mall type stores which runs from our hotel at one end to the river at the other end, about 15 blocks in length. Bei Bei, children in China nicknames are typically the last part of the name just duplicated, was perfect. She stayed close to us, did not wander off, and did not approach strangers like they were her best friends. These are all positive indications in her attachment process with us. We walked about half way up the street and came back.

Our guide made a point to us to not talk to anyone that looked like they were a reporter. This was not an issue as we were approached by no one. Just received several curious looks when people saw the child we were with, our daughter, was Chinese. One photographer did snap off a few shoots of us as we passed by.

We were very pleased with Bei Bei’s behavior while out with us without Lynn. The way she ran around the snow park yesterday caused us some concern with our adventure today. But as noted above, she was perfect.

Tomorrow Steve and I will go visit the orphanage while Ann stays with Bei Bei.